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Out of the Shell: Dating Tips for Shy People



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By : John Casement    29 or more times read
Submitted 2008-01-17 11:57:13
The dating scene can be hell for those that are shy. Simply working up the courage to ask someone else can be a stressful situation on par with nothing else you will do in your lifetime. And then comes the nightmare of the date itself. Dates can be a source of stress for even the most gregarious and outgoing people; for those that are shy it's ten times worse. Thankfully, even with a good dose of shyness, dating is possible, and it is perfectly within your capabilities to actually be good at it. All you have to do is follow a few simple rules and master a couple of very basic techniques to make any potential mate drop his or her jaw when you reveal later that you're actually really shy.

One of the first things any shy person should do is come up with very rehearsed answers for a lot of common questions. Shy people, especially those very inflicted with the disease, often find themselves stuttering over the most basic of answers. Get over this by coming up with some pat replies (a little humor never hurt anyone) and practice saying them until you wouldn't trip over your words if there was a gun to your head.

As far as finding the date itself, the internet has opened up a whole new world for shy people. It doesn't take any courage to fill out a simple online profile and upload a photo (well, maybe a little courage and a thick skin, but nowhere in the same league as actually asking a stranger to dinner). The best online dating advice is easy for even shy people to follow, and it can lead to rewarding dates and relationships. Thankfully, there is no longer the intense stigma there used to be about using such services. More and more people are finding online dating to be a welcome respite from the bar and club scene.

One great thing about being shy is it gives others a chance to talk. This may be more of an asset then you realize. Few and far between are the people who don't enjoy talking about themselves. As long as you have a set list of questions in mind (which you should never, ever ask in interview format; let the questions come casually and naturally), your date will usually be more than happy to answer them. At the end of the date, she may very well come away thinking you're a great guy, even though you told her almost nothing about yourself. Simple human psychology.

Finally, as hard as it is for those that are shy, you must train yourself to make and maintain eye contact. Shifting eyes are taken for one of two things: someone who has something to hide, i.e, lying, or people who have no confidence in themselves. Either one of these will kill your chances to attract almost any girl or guy. Improve your ability to make eye contact, and watch your dating world change in an instant.
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