You can't be happy until you get that special someone's love? You can't be happy until "it" is yours? You can't be happy until you succeed at "it"? You can't be happy until your "Life / Health / Condition / and on and on " improves?
Wait a minute! Are you saying that you can't be happy on your own... today... anytime... unless something outside of you happens? Is that really true?
There is a big difference between "can't be happy" and "won't be happy". You "can be happy" almost all the time. Most of us "won't be happy" until our wishes come true.
The desire to have things happen like you want them to happen can be a genuine tyrant. This tyrant will try to make you suffer until you meet its needs. It might want something it saw in a store, it might want more and better friends, it might want more money, more success, more whatever. It might want a bad situation to stop or for certain people to change in ways it wants.
The tyrant enjoys its privileged position in your life and does not take kindly to being ignored. It will try to make you suffer if you don't meet its demands. Usually it succeeds, since the tyrant really is a part of you, and you also think that what the tyrant wants seems pretty good.
Why does the tyrant need to make you suffer? Because, in spite of its exalted position, it really has no power to change anything... except your emotions and comfort level.
If it does not get what it wants it will do what it can to make you feel bad, and also tell you that the bad feelings will not stop until it does get what it wants. It expects you to make life and the world change into what the tyrant wants.
Unfortunately, just like the tyrant, you really don't have much power to do that either. So, if you obey the tyrant you're going to suffer.
Sure, sometimes you can satisfy the tyrant's desires. Still, no matter how hard you work, many times you will fail because life and the world happens by its own plan, which often does not mesh with your plan.
Here is another problem with the tyrant. It really is not exceptionally dependable. It tells you that what it wants will make you happy, and reminds you about how unhappy you will be until you make it happen. However, the tyrant really has no concept of happiness. It only works on satisfying its desires.
You are being fed a line and you will probably just get some temporary pleasure if you satisfy the tyrant. Even worst, sometimes the tyrant is so wrong that meeting its wishes will cause you misery.
Even worse still, whether what happened was pleasant or painful, the tyrant immediately gives you its next goal and all the associated uncomfortable feelings and marching orders. This really will never stop on its own. There will always be something else the tyrant wants.
It doesn't matter if you are dirt poor or a multi-millionaire. If the tyrant is running your life you are in trouble and feeling unfulfilled.
If you want to get on the right path to happiness, start a revolution. The tyrant must be overthrown. Take away the tyrant's power!
It hasn't done a very good job leading you to a happier life. Whatever satisfaction you get from the whims of the tyrant does not last and has strings attached to keep you in line.
The Tyrant wants you to believe you need it to be happy... how else will you know what you want, what you need, what is good for you? It's a con job. You don't need to obey the tyrant. There is happiness after the tyrant's demanding neediness ends.
When the tyrant loses control over your life you start to see that getting everything you want is a dead end, as far as happiness is concerned. It's not going to happen. Life doesn't work that way.
The happiest people are those who can accept life and the world as it exists in the present. These happy people know that what is here is already here. They see that there is nothing they can do to undo it, so they don't follow the tyrant and get angry or upset if they don't really like it.
The happy people are also free from the tyrant's endless demands to be satisfied, so they are peaceful. Because they are peaceful, they can see things much more clearly and realistically.
They can make good plans for the future, and maybe even get some of what they want; never feeling that not getting "it" needs to cause unhappiness. The fog of too much desire is lifted.
They have learned that you will not be unhappy forever if you don't get what you want. Desires always fade away, met or not. The same goes for unpleasant things, these fade away too.
The happiest people accept the present and are less driven to satisfy their desires at all costs. They know that the world is always changing. Nothing bad will last forever. Nothing good will last forever either, at least not on Earth. They see that happiness arises on its own as contentment with the present grows.
Happy people also have goals and wants. These are not like the goals and wants of the tyrant. A happy person understands that getting desires met is pleasant; but the happy person is perfectly willing to have the desire not be met. It can be enjoyed, yet the enjoyment is not driven by constant desire and is never mistaken for the lasting happiness of a contented life.
Kick out your tyrant if you haven't done it yet. You'll be a happier person when the tyrant no longer rules inside you!
Author Resource:-
Ed Yokum shares more thoughts and opinions about being a happy person at the Happy Karma Enterprises web site and happiness blog. http://www.happy.hkeland.com.
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